UFO hit Anish

6 July, 2005: A Un Identified Object which resembled? a dumb bell hit the left little finger of Mr. Anish when he was on his usual work out session in his favourite health club at MK2. The UFO instantly crumbled into an un known number of pieces. The Gym keeper claims that he was able to successfully identify atleast 15 solid pieces that belonged to the original dumb bell-like-object. Experts evaluate the bang that followed the collision as the second biggest bang after the BIG BANG!!!

Mr. Anish feels that it was just a simple application of the combined impact of The modern theory of Relativity and the parallel theory of the Universe. When asked to give his thoughts on the incident he explained it as:

In his own words:(Verbatim) "You know the problem started when the relative velocity of my left little finger differed with that of the dump bell object which was moving parallel to the cosmic alignment of our galaxy at the square of the inverse velocity of light.
The quantum uncertainty principle made it difficult to simultaneously estimate the accurate circular velocity of the spinning object and the position of it at space-time."

He also added "In my opinion the eventuality could have been avoided if the converse of the scenario that would have raised from the reverse impact on the nearest galaxy to milky way were triggered by ionized atmospheric particles by oscillating with a frequency that was two counts less that the current!" This he says "would have improved the probability of estimating the imaginary part of the complex equation that could be substituted in the differential equation which would yield the exact co-ordinates of the object, mid air" (......
OXYGEN!!!).

His simple explanation to such an exceedingly complex scenario is known to have set many a fresh reporters spinning like valence electrons of an isolated cesium atom in a particle accelerator. Few of the recovering reporters who gained conscious at the St. John's hospital mentioned it as the "blinding flash of the obvious".


History:
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Mr. Anish Philip, a former UCEian has of late developed a deep interest in building his body. Having built the NSK (Non stop Kernel) for Hewlett Packard from scratch with his bare hands, he believes that he should build his body too right from the scratch!

On another occasion Mr. Philip had attempted an onstage adventure with a hot Hindi number Woh Lamhe, Woh Baatein.... at the fresher party organised at his firm, nick/sick named Wipe-Raw (meaning literally wipes you raw). The 30 odd girls present at the occasion had been reported injured, in the stampede that followed the 'historic event'.

Mr. Philip has registered his honest inability to figure out whether it was his masculine V-torso anatomy or the magic of his voice or even a complex intermediate mixture of both that drove the, adrenaline levels high, on the girls.

Latest news
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Mr. A.C.P is known to have submitted his resignation letter at Wipe-It-Raw effective from 29th July. On further enquiry he revealed that they were sucking his blood faster than he could replenish.

-Your honest reporter

Software giant hires Rat. !!

THIRUVANANTHAPURAM, may 9. An Indian multinational software company with a name that mimics INFOmation SYStem had hired a rat!


Competitors allege that Mr. Rat had lured the lady HR with his thick whiskers abundantly prominent under his nose, more than a Bachelor Degree from the University College of Engineering.


Who is The Rat?

The Rat is renowned in rodentian circles for his toothy political smile. Having played a commendable role on Kalluvathukkal liquor tragedy this former Campusrat had briefly served as President of the Indian rats union during the 2000 election crisis.

Out door speech has it that of late the Cat-Bert kind of evil managers of resource at the giants den is running out of preys. This recruitment is believed to nourish the cats at the giant's disposal so that at some point of time the cats will grow into a TIGER.

Whether the giant just invented a typical rat race or does it drive in another TOM and JERRY series provides for interesting observation.

your Honest correspondent,